Letters to our daughters // march 2015

So long overdue, but the moments still vivid in my mind. I'm not sure why, but I just couldn't put words to them until now. Working full time and moving into wedding season is taking it's toll, and I don't want to lose precious seconds with you talking about moments instead of living them, so this post had to wait.

March was a busy month, full of travel and shoots which you tagged along on. First, Portland for a collaborative shoot, then Tacoma for another shoot, then we headed to Deception Pass for an engagement shoot, and straight to Orcas Island for another a few hours later. Crazy. But you're a champion, and are an excellent traveler, my dear. We can't forget that the very end of March we headed to Minnesota via car, and yes, during all twenty-two hours of the drive you never complained once. But that will be for next month's post...so we'll go back to our time in Orcas & Decepetion Pass. Deception Pass was good...early morning = happy Elsa. You threw rocks in the water, and even saw a seal (!) which I actually missed, but hey. You saw it and you loved it and that's what matters. You so cleverly stayed out of all (most of) my shots with the couple I was photographing, so thank you. After leaving Deception we headed towards the ferry terminal. You fell asleep just before boarding the ferry, even though I had been promising you the "boat" all week, and that morning you kept asking me when we would get to go for a ride on the boat. And when finally, the time came, you had fallen fast asleep in your car seat. You didn't get to see the sparkling sea with birds flying overhead and mountains looming in the distance, but there will always be another time. Of course, as soon as we drove off the ferry, you awoke and asked "where's the boat?"  The disappointment quickly faded, because after arriving at the waterfall on Orcas you could barely contain your excitement! Dad carried you down while I walked with clients, and looking back toward us, you yelled "It's amazing, guys! Come on!" Such a simple thing ignited you, entranced you. I need to remember to do that more. To find beauty in small things. As always, you're teaching me. God knows what I need, that's for sure. Contentment...patience...you help me with it all. Luckily we were able to catch the last light of the day as we crossed back from Orcas, giving you a chance to see the ferry before the day completely turned to night.

Although we traveled a lot, I most loved the moments spent at home just relaxing with you, building "houses" and everything else you love to make. These are the moments that often go un-captured, because I' too busy living them. I suppose that's not so bad.

More than anything, I felt the crushing wait of busyness this month. How my heart longed to be with you, instead of sitting at my computer for endless hours chasing, what, success? On the days where I felt more pressure, I edited before you were in bed, leading you to find me in my office and ask me ever so gently to play, looking up at me with hopeful eyes. Why, yes, I would love to....I always say. But my mind is so full and my heart so anxious because I knew that I didn't want what I was doing, but instead I needed to make a change so it would be what I wanted. I worked tirelessly, telling myself this will be worth it, if I can just make this much, I can stay home next year. If I just book this many shoots, I can do it and then this time will be given back. It was hard, but I kept pushing, but not without strain. Tears were shed. I felt like I had failed you. You are my greatest adventure. Not any amount of travel, or success...you.

This post will be continued in April's letter...some exciting news, friends.

Don't forget to check out the other ladies doing this project: Esha Hart | Esha Hart Photography | Greater Tacoma Area Baby & Child Photographer